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He helped her through collegiate growing pains.

April 5, 2013

So obviously technically none of us are alcoholics until we graduate college. At least that was the saying I lived by my freshman year. Another classic college kid thing I lived for was free food wherever it may be. I mean I was Catholic since I was baptized into Church as a baby, and missed Sunday Mass about 3 Sundays of my life, so obviously it was perfectly fine when I went to the Newman Center for free food, whether it was at food after Mass or Tuesday night dinner. After all, I’m Catholic… or at least I thought I was. Boy, was I wrong, and I am proud to say I have grown and progressed since freshman year.

I built up this façade of this tough and cocky girl. It’s how I thought I got the guys, but it was a wall I put up to cover up my past. I could chug a beer faster than any guy, even drink more than any guy. Apparently that was impressive. But it wasn’t me.

I went to Father Greg for spiritual direction my sophomore year because by that time I made some Catholic friends who decided spiritual direction was a part of adulthood, and obviously I’m an adult. That was the absolute first time I told anyone, and let the façade come down. I wasn’t an adult; I was a scared little girl who had way more piled on than she deserved too soon in life and suffered serious verbal and physical abuse at the hands of those who she was supposed to trust the most her parents. Since then, I had serious issues trusting people, forgiving people, and understanding how there could possibly be a God who allowed this upon anyone.

I didn’t expect this to happen or this to be discussed right away or even at all. But it happened and thank God it did. This started my process of healing. Since then, I have developed a better relationship with my family and started to better understand where their words and actions came from. I always knew my parents didn’t have easy lives and they were corrupted by unfortunate history, but saying that out loud to another person truly penetrated my thoughts and I finally understood and believed.

My parents always loved me and I never stopped believing that. It was just very difficult to redevelop trust and forgiveness. I’m still in the process of doing that, and in the future, I hope to return to Father Greg and continue the process and benefit from his powerful healing ministry. I am good. I am an amazing person, and I don’t need to put on this show of this tough girl who can drink and hang with the boys. It’s not a competition or a way to seek attention anymore. I get enough of that with my personality and true inner beauty shining through. Honestly, I would have never come this far and grown so deep in my faith if it wasn’t for Father Greg and his selflessness with his time, and his advice. I have truly matured into an adult and I am proud to call myself such. I make smarter decisions. I have better relationships with people. But I have to be honest: I still take full advantage of every opportunity of free food being offered at the Newman Center, and now that I’m 21, I enjoy the occasional drink or two responsibly.

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